It was funny how sometimes life was like this. Nothing was happening, nothing seemed important. Everything seemed so far away, like the objects had no substance. I could almost see my hands passing straight through the cushions on the sofa, slowly sinking into nothingness. I had to find a way to clear my head, to find a way to draw myself back into reality. The dull colors faded in and out slowly as I blinked my eyes slowly. Focusing was becoming difficult. I had to get out of there.
I stood up abruptly. My blood rushed quickly away from my head. I took a step forward staggering slightly. Reality rushed away from my senses, retreating even further away from my grasp. Leaning heavily on the arm of the sofa, I slowly regained my grip on the outside world. My breathing was less erratic, less labored. I had been inside for a little too long. How long had it been? Days? I couldn’t have been sure. I was logged in for a whole day non-stop.
The web had me tightly in its grasp. I barley escaped long enough to collapse on the floor, only to wake and place the glasses on my face once again. There was nothing that could have stopped it. I had too much to do. There were a million places to go, hundreds of people to talk to, thousands of lines of code to debug. In this I had no choice. The thing that tied the world together was the efforts of individuals. Should one of us falter, then the balance would tip, and the world collapse. Responsibilities were real once you were online. Whether many people realized it or not, the web did not just act on its own.
It was like the tattered reality in which we all awoke every day. Should we decide to just stop living, then what? Our part of the world would fall down around us. Living somewhere meant you had to take on responsibilities. In life, there could be someone to replace you, someone with similar skills. Online, the chances of that were much slimmer. Who would debug the primary data drivers for the hardware recognition systems on the Datadyne servers if I didn’t? Besides, nothing was free, I got enough from my “day job” so that I could eat a decent meal now and then.
I grabbed one of the towels hanging on a nearby hook and wandered out into the hallway. There was no one in sight. It was probably either really early or really late, I couldn’t tell. The shades were all drawn; I could only assume that it was night out. I reached out to grab the handle to the bathroom door when it burst open suddenly.
“uh?” I could only grunt. She stood in front of me wearing nothing but a blue towel that was wrapped around her body. When her eyes met mine she blushed and looked away.
“ah, how are you.” She stammered it out nervously. Her head shifted letting her neatly combed wet hair fall across her face. She reached back to push it up behind her ear again.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Excuse me.” I finally got control of my senses. I started to turn away.
“No no! It is alright, I shouldn’t be walking around like this, especially so late at night.” She sounded sincerely apologetic. I wasn’t sure why she should be. I glanced up at her. She was still staring down at the ground blushing an almost entrancing soft red. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her face. In that instant, I think I realized how truly beautiful she was.
I stepped out of the way. She smiled at me and walked past quickly, holding hr towel tightly across her body. I couldn’t help but watch out of the corner of my eye.
“Well, well what was that all about?” I jumped. Konpyuuta Chan stood in the doorway to my room her arms crossed on her chest. She looked at me curiously. She was wearing what looked like a pink nightgown. It was cut just above her knees, and trimmed with a little lace all across the bottom. She shifted her weight slightly.
“What?” It was all I could say.
“I think you have been on too much this week. I understand there is work to be done, but there is such a thing as too much.” Her looked turned more serious and concerned. “You know how I can tell?” She looked at me expectantly.
“Um… how?”
“Its simple. I can tell because, you look at her.” She gestured off in the direction the girl had gone. “Not just look, but really look at her.” She sighed.
“I don’t have a clue what you are talking about.” I could feel my face flush a little.
“Uh huh. Sure. Point is, you only notice her when you’re too out of it to think that you shouldn’t.” She put her hands behind her head. Her hemline rose a couple of inches.
Why was I noticing all these things suddenly? I hadn’t been getting out lately, that much was true. Could that have been it? Maybe I was a little far-gone. I had to relax, take some time off from work and the net. A day or two, that sounded fine. Just take a couple of days to myself, go outside, ride my bike, take a walk, whatever.
I just looked over at her one last time, and then walked into the bathroom. The shower would make me feel better. Once the warm water was rushing all over my body. I am sure I would feel more like myself then. Just lose myself in the water, and then try to start over…
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